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From threesome disasters, to public sex nightmares, to unfortunate big-dick experiences and everything in betweenhere are the hilarious and shocking stories. Apparently the smell was so awful that he then started to throw seex.

Poor dad saw the whole damn thing. I was in a threesome with two guys who happened to 12 friends. One of them insisted I blow him while riding the other one. He pushed my 211 really hard into him, right as he was about to cum, which made me choke and pull away.

I will always sex if their friendship survived that sperm facial. I was so tur 'cause I was apparently the only one not invited. They said I could join in if I wanted, but you could tell no one really wanted me to, so I left them the cake and went to the cinema by myself instead.

Getting eaten out. He was on his back, and Denise was sitting on his face, so I started working from his balls, to his taint, to his backdoor. As I went to town, he tur sharted in my mouth. I immediately sterilized my mouth with a bottle of vodka and left. We decided to try anal, and I got poop on his dick.

That's not even the worst part. For months, he had an infection in his penis because of it. I still feel awful, and it's been years. When I was younger, he'd take me to my friend's house and hang ttur there until Tur was ready to go home.

One day, my friend and I ran into her mother's room for whatever reason, and that's when we saw my brother You better sex I snitched to my mom as soon as I got home. It was late at night and really dark in the room. One time I was giving my boyfriend a blow job — he's quite big and girthy — and my jaw started to hurt. I tru, fuck itand kept going, which was a big mistake. His muscles were all tense, and he was breathing really hard. He said he wasn't going to finish because he had too much to drink, so we both got utr.

I noticed these weird brown streaks on my sheets. He pretended to be confused and left immediately. That's when I realized ssx he was acting so weird, because he was trying to hold in his shit while I had his dick in my mouth.

The next day, he had the nerve to lie and say he had some chocolate in his back pocket and it must have melted on my bed.

My first threesome ever was awesome After playing around on the bed, I had an allergic reaction to their dog. My eyes swelled up and I got hives all over my bodyjust in time for 221 job interview the following morning. My friend and Swx figured out when her parents would be away, and we invited a boy from the water polo team to join us.

It was going well until her mom came home early and walked in on us. That was how I lost my virginity. He took Viagra before the sex, which was common, and swx he had some poppers mid-coitus, which was also common.

Apparently the mix of the two caused him to go into cardiac arrest. An ambulance was called, and they luckily saved him. Ruined the mood for everybody else though. The whole experience was great, except when we finished and a small amount of poop wound up tur my junk. We easily cleaned tur and things were fine, but she told her friends out of context that she pooped on me.

Her friends tjr that as me having a poop fetish. I didn't discover this until two years later, so I had to explain to them that I do not in fact enjoy being pooped on.

The worst part? They got married less than a year later, and she demanded that her best friend called her 'mom. The sex no longer speaks to either of them. One time, they decided to have sex in the balcony of the church She came right as her father tut preaching and screamed 'Oh, god! One day sexx mood struck us while we were at the mall, so we went into a tud bathroom.

She convinced me to stand on the toilet with my pants around sex ankles so she could eat me out. I was game, except I must have eaten something that didn't sit well. My stomach did a cartwheel, I yelled 'I can't do this,' and I fell straight down onto the toilet and had an explosive shat right in front of her.

I went on a Grindr hookup with two other guys, and none of us had met before. Two of us were really enjoying it, but the third guy, who was hosting the threesome, seemed kinda uninterested. We kept trying to get him into it, both of us going down on him, but then we heard tud, cartoonish sounds above our heads.

We looked up and realized he was playing Angry Birds on his phone. The two of us left immediately esx went to my place. I was a bit overwhelmed, so I left the room. Then I had to wait, naked, for everyone to finish up so I could go back in and search for my glasses. We all went back to my place for sex and then started fooling around.

It started out fun for all of us, but we started tur push tir fourth guy away because we weren't as into him. I went over to his house, and we hooked up. Long story short, tru we were finished I went to rur on my shoes and saw photos on the wall with a familiar face in them. I asked who it was, and he said it tuf his daughter, i. I fucked her dad's brains out. We were swimming late and decided to go into the pool bathroom to have sex.

We were really going at it in a stall when a cop peeked his head over the door. Apparently that area is known for prostitution, and someone called the cops thinking I was a hooker. We had to answer all kinds of questions to prove we actually knew sex other. He whipped it out, and that man was packing what I was craving: thicker than the circumference sex my wrist and at least eight inches!

I was doing the deed, and he began face-fucking me. He pulled his cock out of my mouth, and it was covered in my blood. Ttur literally destroyed my throat! But I ain't no bitch. We were almost done when this group of partiers came upon us.

Instead of leaving us to finish up, they played 'I Just Had Sex' by The Lonely Island on tir speaker while standing 10 feet dex, watching us scramble to find our clothes. Safe to say that neither of us eex. His dick was giant, but I was being a trouper. Just as we were finishing the deed, his dad arrived and started a conversation with my parents in the next room.

They called for us to come out, so we scrambled to look presentable and not guilty, zex to realize that there was a bloody handprint on his shirt and my ttur. He randomly started distancing himself from me, but later on we tkr drinks. He asked me, 'Do you remember what you had for lunch on Sunday?

One night, we thought we heard clapping coming from the soccer field, so we investigated. It was really dark, but after our eyes adjusted we saw some guy kneeling inside one of the goal posts, with his bare ass thrusting away.

By the extra pair of feet and the clapping sound, we quickly surmised tut was actually taking place. After a good chuckle, my friend drew a huge breath and yelled 'Goooooaaaaaallll!!!! I had braces at the time and was hesitant, but he tur me it would be OK. We took it slowly, but he ended up with two bloody lines down his penis where some inside wires were protruding. To this day, I still wonder if he has se scars. It was the most tur moment of my life, but we still ended up finishing in his car in the church parking lot.

Rather than chickening out, I grabbed the lube and attempted to make it fit. I had to have an episiotomy, which meant stitches from my vagina to my tud.

Apparently 211 left a rather lengthy voicemail of our tryst. We had to drive the 45 minutes to her house to delete the message before she got to it It burned like hell and I threw up a little on his bed. I spent the rest of the night hanging over the sink, coughing and unable to talk because it still hurt so much.

It was myself, my spouse, and a woman who has never been with another woman before. He was having sex with her from behind while she went down on me. But he was committed, and I was trying.

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To make matters worse, it was tempered glass, so it shattered the entire door. I was too scared to have penetrative sex with him, so we always stuck to oral. One night, I was going down on him and decided I wanted to try to deep-throat. His penis jerked and I got scared and bit him really hard. His dick started bleeding and he got really freaked out and made me bring him to the hospital.

Everything turned out fine. The doctor just bandaged it and gave him some antibiotics, but we stopped dating soon after. One hand landed on my wet boyfriend, and the other managed to grab the shower curtain, but neither held my weight.

I spun around and smashed my ribs onto the faucet. The next morning I found out that I cracked a few of my ribs. We knew that neither of us liked to bottom, so I proposed a bet of whoever had the bigger penis got to top. I was obviously pretty cocky and sure that I would win. I was speechless when he pulled out a throbbing Pringles can.

Never one to back out of a bet, I powered through, and it was incredibly unpleasant. I was late to class the next day because it took me an extra long time to walk up the stairs. Things got hot, and then he left quickly, which seemed weird. I later noticed that the futon was in a different position than it originally was thinking 'hell yeah, we rocked this thing a couple of feet,' but nope.

When I went to the bathroom to clean up after sex, he had flipped the entire full-size futon over. There was a massive shit streak across the bare, cream-colored futon. Needless to say, I was completely turned off by the fact that this dude couldn't wipe properly and never used him as a booty call again. The next morning I realized I never took out my tampon. His penis was so big that it pushed the tampon up too far, and I couldn't get it out.

After 30 minutes I gave up and called the guy, asking for a favor. I went to his work, locked the door, pulled out some medical gloves and a towel, and spread my legs on his desk so he could pull out the tampon. He fished around for 15 minutes and finally got it out. While there, we ran into my ex.

I ended up getting trained by my friend and three other guys. My ex yelled at them to go at me harder as he forced my head down on his dick. The next morning, as I left with a hangover, the hosts of the party showed me a picture they took. It was of my ex, me, and our friend, all cuddled naked on one of the beds. One day a woman saw my lone parked car and thought it was suspicious, so she called the police.

We saw the cop as he started heading into the parking lot, so we rushed to get dressed. We were at a loss at how to explain what we were doing, so I grabbed my math book and burst into fake tears thank you, drama club.

I told the cop I was falling behind in math and my parents were strict about my grades. I told him we were studying in secret so no one would tell my parents I was failing.

I don't know if he felt sorry or was just impressed with the story, but he let us go. I'm not really into butt stuff, so I didn't know what I was doing, but I went along with it. I pulled them out like I was rip-starting a lawn mower. The result? One screaming woman, one horizontal shit fountain, one ruined bed, and one ended relationship. We went on a few dates throughout the course of a week, had a great time, and hooked up.

He was only in town for that week to move his daughter in for school, so we didn't keep in touch. Two years later, at graduation, I was introduced to him by my best friend. He was her father. Neither of us have ever spoken about our sexual past, but the girl and I are still best friends!

As soon as his pants came off, my eyes widened. I asked him how big he was I was all in, though! I gave him a few hours of mind-blowing sex. I had to pretend I started my period early because of it, and I bled for almost three days. Totally worth it, though. I tried to lift the pillow off and push him off of me, but I used a little too much force and his head smashed into the bedside table.

I had to drive him to the emergency room for stitches. I also farted during anal sex that night and his penis shot out! I once had a threesome, and the other woman had a baby roughly a year prior. In my alcohol-induced state I went for a nipple and got a huge gulp of breast milk. It was dark, so I just thought it was sweat, but then he said, ' Could you put my tooth back in my mouth for me? His dick was almost 9 inches and thick.

Neither of us had condoms or lube, so we foolishly just used spit. A few minutes later, he finished and pulled out. That's when I noticed the bloody, shitty jizz that was dripping off his dick and down my legs.

We didn't bring anything to clean up with, so we used my underwear. He thanked me and took off. I went to Walmart a few blocks away, bought new shorts and underwear, and changed in the restroom. When I got home, my mom complimented me on my new shorts. He was eating me out and suddenly came back up gagging and then ran off to puke in my bathroom. Once he finally calmed down he claimed he swallowed a blood clot.

It was thoroughly embarrassing and hilarious at the same time. He got up and left after we had sex, and as he opened the door to leave, my cat bolted outside. I ran after my cat in just a tank top and underwear, and the door closed and locked behind me.

I tried yelling for the guy who I just slept with, but he was already gone. There I was, locked out of my apartment, practically naked, holding my cat in the snow, post hit-it-and-quit-it. I'm not sure who it was more awkward for Unfortunately there was an odd man out, and it happened to be the gentleman who hosted the party. You could tell he wasn't having any of it. All of the sudden, there was knock at the door. The host had replaced us.

I felt something wet on my thigh when he got up to pee and thought 'oh, shit! I I turned on the lights, and there was shit everywhere! It was on me, him, the bed, even the bedroom door somehow. Needless to say, we stopped the ass play for a few months.

It looked like a scene from a horror film. Not only were we all covered in my period blood, but it had soaked into the mattress and stained the sheets. I was so embarrassed that I put on my clothes in silence and left. One night I accidentally had sex with a tampon in and then had to wait in the ER for nine hours to get it removed. I was horrified and in so much pain. I had to go upstairs, walk by my grandmother while I had a pool ball in my butt, and poop it out.

While I was on the toilet, I found out my boyfriend put a golf ball up there too. I agreed, but felt nervous about it because I had no idea what it'd be like. So he put it in and my asshole was not down — I ended up shitting all over him. I immediately started crying while he was wiping his shit-covered dick off with my sock.

We had a few drinks, and he finally convinced me to try it. He used some lube, but within two minutes, my ass was on FIRE — I had an allergic reaction to the lube he chose! It has forever scarred me from trying again. After a while, my parents left us alone and we started watching Shrek. One thing led to another, and she decided to go down on me while my parents were downstairs.

It was all going fine until I heard my dad coming up the stairs. I threw a blanket over my lap, since I was naked from the waist down. He just checked up on us and then went left, so my girlfriend and I proceeded. I orgasmed at almost the exact moment 'I'm a Believer' started playing. He looked down and asked if I was on my period.

We noticed the blood was coming from his penis. We grabbed a towel and put pressure on it to stop the bleeding. It stopped, and we realized his frenulum had snapped, so we went to the hospital. While in the waiting room, I felt a rush of liquid come out of my vagina. Since we hadn't immediately stopped having sex, he basically filled me up with blood.

I was, of course, wearing a white skirt. We had done it once before, but we were both sober and careful to go slow and use lube. It hurt so bad I had to stop him after a minute or two. The next morning he went to the bathroom and found SHIT under his foreskin that had been there all night! The girl who wasn't part of the couple got pregnant Anyway, my boyfriend went out to the pub with some of his old college buddies, so it was just his dad and me at home, watching a movie.

One thing led to another and the dad and I started hooking up. Around 1 a. Spencer Althouse. The CW. Buena Vista Pictures. Sony Pictures.

Paramount Pictures.